#5

Dear Lily and Iris,

I need your help- badly!

See, I've got this friend and he's kind of like a best friend. And he's always hinting that he likes me, but I just overlook it. And recently it's been getting more and more noticeable. And he keeps saying "Can I ask you a question?" And i tend to ignore it. I know he's planning on asking me something but I don't want to hear it!How do I ignore it without fucking up our friendship?

Yours,

I-don't-want-to-hear-it.

Dear I-don't-want-to-hear-it,

Well obviously, you realize that he has feelings for you- probably a big whopping crush. Your options are:

A) Completely ignore him altogether until he stops wanting to ask you questions, but that could fuck up your friendship.

B) You could hint back at him that you really don't like him as more then a friend.

C) You could let him ask you the question and tell him that's not what you're looking for- so at least he knows where he stands.

D) THE SAFEST OPTION. Tell one of his friends to let him down easy.

Hope that helps,

Lily :)

Anyone else want help? lilyandiristotherescue@gmail.com

#4

Dear Lily and Iris,

I have a crush on this really great guy. And he likes me back (He told my best friend!!) But the only problem is, he has a girlfriend. He says he doesn't want to be with her, and hasn't for a long time, but she depends on him a lot. He wouldn't cheat on her, he's not that kind of guy, but he also can't seem to break up with her. I don't know what to do! Should I stay or should I go?

Yours,
Sick-of-waiting-around.

Dear Sick of Waiting Around,

Well, this guy seems pretty nice. Make sure, however, that he is the good guy you think him to be. However, as much as you like this guy, and as much as he keeps promising to break up with his girlfriend for you, don't count your lucky stars on it. Tell him you won't wait around forever (You don't want to end up like the old cat lady) and keep your eyes out for other people. If he likes you as much as he says, he'll do something about it if he thinks he's going to lose you.

Yours,

Iris.

#3

Dear Lily and Iris,

I have a crush on this really hot guy and I want to go out with him, but I don't know what to do. Should I tell him I like him, or should I leave it?

Help,
Confused Girl!

Dear Confused Girl,

You have a couple of options.

A. Flirt your ass off until he flirts back.

B. Ask around his mates, SUBTLY. Do not get a friend to do it, because they are rarely subtle (About as subtle as a sledgehammer.)

C. If you are feeling risky, then go for it and just tell him but make sure it does not come across stalkery! Word your speech correctly. WARNING: This may not get you him, but at least you tried.

And remember. At the end of the day, there are plenty more fish in the sea!
Yours,

Lily

#2

Dear Lily And Iris,

I have this super clingy, super dodgy, annoying ex boyfriend, who is slightly psychotic. He went crazy when we broke up and threatened to commit a suicide a handful of times. It's been three months since we've broken up. He's still trying to turn people I know against me and telling me he loves me. I've a new crush who likes me back, but my ex is threatening to hurt him. I'm so sick of him, I just want to live my life. Help me?

Yours,

Sick-of-always-carrying-around-pepper-spray.

Dear Pepper spray,

Well, your ex boyfriend does sound like a handful. The best thing to do is to tell him bluntly(don't try to be nice to stop from hurting his feelings) to back off. He has two options. (A)To fuck off and not be in your life at all or (B)To be a supporting friend and accept that you've moved on. If he hopefully chooses B, and seems to be coming too attached once again, the best thing to do is to avoid him until he gets over it.

Yours,

Lily.

Ps. Please choose "normal" boys in future :) I share your pain.

#1

Dear Lily And Iris,

All my best friend and I ever seem to do anymore is fight. She says I've changed, and that I'm the most reckless person she knows, but I'm really not. I don't drink, or smoke or do drugs or anything like that. I think she's saying it because I kissed a guy I'm not going out with at a disco, but it was a once off thing and everyone does it! She keeps telling me she wants her old best friend back, and says really nasty things about me and it's really getting me down. What do I do?

Yours,

Still-the-same.

Dear Still-the-same,

To be honest, it sounds like she's not worth all the hassle. Tell her that this is who you are, and if she doesn't like it, then clearly she's not your friend. If she's saying things about you, tell her to cop on or fuck off. There's nothing wrong with kissing the occasional boy you might not know, she's just too uptight.

Tell her she has a choice, to accept you as you, or to lose you forever.

Yours,

Iris.